Some jokes....

THE DOCTOR VISIT

Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basics.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"135," I say. The nurse puts me on the scale.
It turns out my weight is 180.
The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 foot 4," I say.
The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5' 2".
She then took my blood pressure and told me it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" I scream. "When I came in here I was
tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"
She put me on Prozac. What a bitch.

_____________________________________________________

SHOPPING
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car

has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the

dispatcher:

'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even

the accelerator!' she cried.

The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm.. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes

later, the officer radios in. 'Disregard,' he says. 'She got in the back-seat by

mistake.'
_____________________________________

FAMILY

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96

year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other

sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'

The 94 year old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up

the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?'

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters.

She shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on

wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's

at the door.'
_____________________________________
I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one
fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'

'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'

And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
_____________________________________

ROMANCE
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was
falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and
wanted to talk.

She said: 'You used to hold my hand when we were courting.'
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get
back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: 'Then you used to kiss me.'

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek
and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: 'Then you used to bite my!
neck.'

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

'Where are you going?' she asked.

'To get my teeth!'
_____________________________________
DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER
80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the
retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and
announces, 'Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can
have sex with me tonight!!'

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, 'An elephant?'

Bessie thinks a minute and says, 'Close enough.'
_____________________________________
OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many
decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of
activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been
limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one Looked at
the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me. I know we've
been friends for a long time but I just can't think of your name!
I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell
me what your name is.'

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just
stared and glared at her.

Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
_____________________________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently
warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a
car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!'

'Hell,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of 'em!'
_____________________________________
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car; both could
barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along,

they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they
just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself
'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through
a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red again.

Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger

Seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really
concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At
the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went
on through.

So, she turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know

that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have

killed us both!'

Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh! Am I driving?'

Please !!!!
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO ME !!!!

DMAAC PICNIC

Dmaac/NIMA/NGA old timers picnic, Arnold, MO, June 3, 2009. Last year was the first year we attended, since Ned had only retired last year. There were about 50 last year, and more like 70 this year.

Good time had by all.....

Graduation pics

Cornell College, May 30, 2009-see previous post for details!

Nathan, my brother, sister in law, mom, Ned and me. The stained glass windows are from the Kings Chapel on campus. The building is from 1876, and it's where the baccalaureate was held.

Graduation was held in the gym.

My hostas and Irises

These are in the back garden. I think the hostas came from my mom, and I'm pretty sure my dad gave me the Japanese Iris.

Graduation

Well, it's over. I'm so proud of Nathan for his accomplishments! He graduated from Cornell College yesterday with a double BA in art and history. He did this in 3 years!

It is such a beautiful campus, and it is on the National Register of Historic Places. The college was founded in 1853, long before the "other" Cornell in NY. :P The college was founded by the United Methodist Church, but there is no big affiliation AFAIK. In fact, the Chaplain is Episcopal! I hope Nicolette could get a good gig like that some day! :)

Anyway, I digress....my brother, SIL, and mom drove up from Knoxville, then we all drove to IA for the festivities. We were able to take in Nathan's museum exhibit, and while we were there, the curator/director offered Nathan any support she could give. I guess she really appreciated what those two boys did for the museum. I know he liked it.

We drove around Cedar Rapids to see some post flood progress. We walked through Czech Village, or what's back, anyway. That whole area was underwater, and there are a few shops and bakeries that are back in business now. They still have a long way to go though.

We also drove through Iowa City, where Nathan will be starting this fall, to see his apt. The bldg didn't look too bad, who knows what the inside is like! LOL

Then we had a most wonderful dinner feast.....HuHot has just opened at the Linndale Mall in Marion, and O.M.G.....I'm still stuffed. LOL. It's one of those mongolian grill places where you choose your meat, veg, noodles, sauce, and then the chefs grill it for you. Instant stir fry! Pretty tasty...we can only hope one opens close by.

The Baccalaureate was very moving. Nathan actually got up for it, and I think he was glad. It was held in Kings Chapel on campus, which is a beautiful little chapel built in 1876. The bldg is stone, the stained glass is beautiful, and the pipe organ sounds great! I really enjoyed the chaplain's sermon. It was very obvious that she loves Cornell (she is an alumnus), loves the kids, and loves what she does.

We had buffet brunch in the dining hall, which was obviously better than anything the kids ever see! And we didn't have to "swarm." This is a very odd tradition at mealtimes. They have their meals set up in stations, and you never wait in line for anything! You literally push your way in front of someone if you want something from that station. New York mode! LOL Rude? Yeah probably, but it's the way things are done.

The graduation ceremony itself was in the gym. There were a few speakers, and the history prof was very interesting. One other weird tradition....instead of being seated alphabetically or by department, they let the kids choose whom to sit with. They also allow the kids to list their preferred name to be called for the walk across the stage. Thankfully Nathan stuck with his real name, since in HS he totally confused Viviano when he gave him "throat warbler mangrove" for the name. LOL However, Nathan was seated by Bubbles, there was a Sisterpants behind him, and further behind was someone named "Jessie loves Britney Spears" or something like that! No, the diplomas had their real name. I can only imagine Bubbles getting work as a stripper somewhere. LOL

I feel a bit sad that he was only there three years and didn't really graduate with his class. Although he has said that several of his friends transferred after a year because of the block schedule. He can always run over there from IC next year if he misses it! He had some wonderful professors and made some great friends.

This just sucks.... At least Iowa got it right! :D

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_gay_marriage

By LISA LEFF, Associated Press Writer Lisa Leff, Associated Press Writer – 12 mins ago

SAN FRANCISCO – The California Supreme Court upheld a voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage Tuesday, but it also decided that the estimated 18,000 gay couples who tied the knot before the law took effect will stay wed.

Demonstrators outside the court yelled "shame on you!"

The 6-1 decision written by Chief Justice Ron George rejected an argument by gay rights activists that the ban revised the California Constitution's equal protection clause to such a dramatic degree that it first needed the Legislature's approval.

The court said the Californians have a right, through the ballot box, to change their constitution.

"In a sense, petitioners' and the attorney general's complaint is that it is just too easy to amend the California Constitution through the initiative process. But it is not a proper function of this court to curtail that process; we are constitutionally bound to uphold it," the ruling said.

The justices said the 136-page majority ruling does not speak to whether they agree with Proposition 8 or "believe it should be a part of the California Constitution."

They said they were "limited to interpreting and applying the principles and rules embodied in the California Constitution, setting aside our own personal beliefs and values."

The announcement of the decision set off an outcry among a sea of demonstrators who had gathered in front of the San Francisco courthouse awaiting the ruling. Holding signs and many waving rainbow flags, they yelled "shame on you." Many people also held hands in a chain around an intersection in an act of protest.

Gay rights activists immediately promised to resume their fight, saying they would go back to voters as early as next year in a bid to repeal Proposition 8.

The split decision provided some relief for the 18,000 gay couples who married in the brief time same-sex marriage was legal last year but that wasn't enough to dull the anger over the ruling that banned gay marriage.

"It's not about whether we get to stay married. Our fight is far from over," said Jeannie Rizzo, 62, who was one of the lead plaintiffs along with her wife, Polly Cooper. "I have about 20 years left on this earth, and I'm going to continue to fight for equality every day."

Also in the crowd gathered at City Hall, near the courthouse, were Sharon Papo, 30, and Amber Weiss, 32, who were married on the first day gay marriage was legal last year, June 17.

"We're relieved our marriage was not invalidated, but this is a hollow victory because there are so many that are not allowed to marry those they love," Weiss said.

"I feel very uncomfortable being in a special class of citizens," Papo said.

The state Supreme Court had ruled last May that it was unconstitutional to deny gay couples the right to wed. Many same-sex couples had rushed to get married before the November vote on Proposition 8, fearing it could be passed. When it was, gay rights activists went back to the court arguing that the ban was improperly put to voters and amounted to a revision — which required legislative approval — not an amendment.

That was the issue justices decided Tuesday.

"After comparing this initiative measure to the many other constitutional changes that have been reviewed and evaluated in numerous prior decisions of this court, we conclude Proposition 8 constitutes a constitutional amendment rather than a constitutional revision," the ruling said.

Justice Carlos Moreno wrote the dissenting opinion disagreeing that the proposition did not change the constitution's equal protection clause. He said the law denying same-sex couples the right to wed "strikes at the core of the promise of equality that underlies our California Constitution." He said it represents a "drastic and far-reaching change."

"Promising equal treatment to some is fundamentally different from promising equal treatment for all," said Moreno, who had been mentioned as a possible contender for the U.S. Supreme Court. "Promising treatment that is almost equal is fundamentally different from ensuring truly equal treatment."

Holy Cow....

http://www.weartv.com/template/inews_wire/wires.international/34b90ece-www.weartv.com.shtml

Cumberland Gap

On the way to Tennessee, we went through the Cumberland Gap. Nice view-the mountains were pretty impressive!

Long Island Deer

We went on a few walks on Long Island, this is from the nature preserve where the turtles usually hang out. We didn't see any this time, probably too cold. But we did see a few deer!

Fort McHenry

After spending a few days on Long Island, we drove south towards Tennessee (where my mom, brother and SIL live), passing through The Appalachians. We drove through Baltimore and spend a few hours at Fort McHenry. During the War of 1812, this was a very important defensive fort for the United States, and it's been restored to it's original condition. There were quite a few additional buildings here during WWI that were used for hospitals and offices, but they were torn down in the 1920's.

Francis Scott Key wrote the US National Anthem, Star Spangled Banner, while on a ship in the harbor after a particularly brutal shelling of the fort by the British.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fort_Mchenry

I took quite a few pictures here, I'll just share the best ones! They've restored the barracks, and there are a few exhibits of how life was at the time. I've included a few for you Sharpe fans-notice the Shako and rifles!

This is a model of the fort inside the visitor's center.



An embankment....


Entrance to the barracks area of the Fort.



One of the cells in the guard house/prison where prisoners of war were held during the Civil War.

Inside the junior officers' quarters.



Powder magazine...
Typical uniform from 1812.



An actual Congreve Rocket...made famous in Sharpe's Enemy and Waterloo! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congreve_rocket

Gettysburg

I'd never been to Gettysburg, PA, even though we've driven by it several times on our way to NY. Very interesting-lots of monuments, of course, and a very nice new visitor center.


This is a 3D representation of the battlefield.


Some guns....



Battlefield


The Pennsylvania Monument...



Gettysburg Address panel on the PA Monument...

Harley Davidson Factory

Holy cow, how could I have forgotten the Harley Davidson tour in York, PA? Must have blocked that.....

Very interesting, actually, but really hot and noisy in there. They had us wear little earpiece thingies that were hooked up to receivers, and the guide wore a mic. That worked quite well, and there'd be no way you could hear anyone talking in that place!

They had all the new Harleys on display, some are made there, some are made in KC. They even had a Buell! (which is what we live for in this house.....) But it wasn't the Blast-I would have sat on it, at least!

Well, we made it to LI safe and sound, not without a few traffic hassles outside Pittsburgh and NYC. Typical of PA transit to keep closed highways lanes a big secret.....then typical of them to time the stoplights so that only about 3 cars coming from the highway get through, while 20 can get out of the mall.....duh.....Anyway......lots of cursing and swearing coming out of both the driver's and passenger's seat of that Ion. LOL

Driving through New Jersey wasn't as horrendous as we thought it would be. We remembered the Lincoln Highway show on PBS (the real reason we did this in the first place), and a restaurant they mentioned during their journey. It's called Beana's in Rahway, NJ. The claim to fame is that it's Mexican, but owned and operated by an Irishman! It was very good, and it was nice to take a break from driving. They seemed truly impressed that we'd remember them from the show!

We got a bit misdirected (stoopid signs in NJ) when looking for the Lincoln Tunnel. Even though the tunnel has nothing to do with the Lincoln Highway, we still felt it was appropriate to go through there to get to NY. The Lincoln Highway ends at Times Square at 42nd street. We drove through Manhattan and out to LI.

The Empire State Bldg was shrouded in fog, and the top was lit green. Apparently Bill Clinton has declared some sort of green bldg day, and that was the first one to be lit green. They will be renovating it at some point to reduce the electricity bills from $11M to about $4.5M. They'll be switching out about 6000 windows eventually.

Here's what started all of this:
http://www.wqed.org/tv/sebak/lincoln_hwy/blog/

Here's Nathan's museum info, but it looks like some of the specific links are broken.

http://www.blackiowa.org/index.html

Spirits & Sequins exhibition reception--MEMBERS ONLY

	Friday, April 3, 2009, 5 – 8pm
	This vibrant new exhibit showcases some ornately decorated Haitian drapos, or prayer flags, from the largest Haitian art collection in a public museum in the U.S., courtesy of the Waterloo Center for the Arts. Each piece depicts a Haitian vodou loa, or deity, with his or her own personality and story—much like the Greek gods. You can see the African influences in Haitian culture, and how those influences compare to African American culture. Enjoy Haitian foods and see Haitian dancer Celia Bambara perform with a Haitian drummer. Haiti is a rich, exciting place, so our grand opening will be, too! Stop back on Saturday, April 4th at 1pm to participate in a Haitian dance workshop with Celia Bamabara. It’s free! Anyone from ages 5 and up are welcome!

Writing from Gettysburg, PA. We've driven close to here several times (I guess a couple times a year-every time we go to LI), but never stopped. Since we're doing the Lincoln Highway, it only seems fitting that we stop and see the Battleground.

We walked around downtown while waiting for our table at "The Pub and Restaurant" in downtown Gettysburg. Looks like a pretty nice town-obviously very touristy. The restaurant looked pretty nice, and the food was decent, but the service was lacking.

There really wasn't any other choice, since it was about 8 pm when we got into town. When I went up to the hostess station to put our names on the list, we got the big eyeroll from the hostess when I said I preferred waiting for a table as opposed to sitting in the bar. Well, when I looked, there wasn't any place in the bar, so I got a bit put off when she argued with me.

We were given a dinky rickety table in the middle of the aisle, server was too slow in refilling our beverages, my panini was cold, and the takeaway box was way too small for the leftovers! She's lucky I wasn't paying, because her tip would have been a lot smaller! Granted, not all of that was her fault, but still.....I was a bit peeved when we left.

Can you tell I'm tired? :P

Exploring the Battleground tomorrow!

Note to Ohio....

Get a dome on the capitol! LOL

We spent the night in Upper Sandusky, which is actually south of the real Sandusky, but upriver on the Sandusky River, so I guess that makes sense... In an odd Ohio sort of way....LOL

We are still poking along on US30, basically trending the Lincoln Highway. There are several places where it leaves 30, but if we took all of the bypasses, we'd still be in IL.

You really feel like you're in the east once you get to Mansfield,OH, because it starts getting hillier, and the road gets narrower and crappier. :P

Bad experience years ago when we were our way back from NY, trailering the Ile de France (yes that's right). The trailer axle broke on a Sat night, nothing open on Sunday, and we had to spend a ouple of nights in a cheap motel while waiting for it. Decided not to wait, so rented a UHaul to throw it all in. Ended up with a busted windshield from some dumb truck blowing out a tire and the pieces hitting us. Much nicer this time.

On our way to East Liverpool now, where the Longaberger pottery used to be made. Not sure what happens there now!

We are starting our Lincoln Highway Odyssey after seeing Nathan last night.

We were at Nathan's big museum shindig! Very impressive, it was a bigger deal than he let on. He was listed as curator and had to "say a few words" to the crowd! He was not amused...but the director/curator was very impressed with the exhibit.

Haitian flags are absolutely gorgeous in person. I might try my hand at some serious beading when I get home. The flags themselves aren't flags like one would normally think of, but very colorful works of art. Some are made for use in religious ceremonies and are blessed for use. All that we saw on display, except for one, were made for art and/or tourist market. They depict different religious symbols or icons, or other aspects of Haitian culture.

We were also treated to a Haitian dancer and two drummer musicians. Very enjoyable and interesting! No photos because of copyright and religious reasons, but she let me sneak a few since it's family.

The museum is the African-American Museum and Cultural Center in Cedar Rapids, IA. I don't know if they have a website or not! But I'm sure googling Haitian flags would give you an idea of what's what.

We just passed thru Dewitt, IA, home of Evergreen car air fresheners!! LOL

IA has it all! :D

http://www.icis.com/blogs/icis-chemicals-confidential/files/2009/03/yellow-ducks---more-plastics-i.html

Well.......

First I read that U2 isn't planning on St Louis this fall....yet Although, there's always hope. If they did what Genesis did in 2005/6/7/whenever, they will add various legs from time to time. Maybe I'll get lucky again. (sure was a PITA what G did though-you'd like to plan, but can't really, because you don't have all the dates/venues.) I was lucky enough to be able to see all three shows in Chicago, only because it is fairly close and I was able to meet up with some Paperlaters. A wonderful time was had by most! (jeeze, that's a whole other story that I won't really get into here, but check out ssudio.livejournal.com if you're curious. Hopefully the really mean, nasty post is still "private." But if not, oh well, and it's probably time the person knows what people *really* think of her. :P)

Anyway.....

Second thing is that my U2.com email is broken. I'm not sure what the dealio is, perhaps they are doing maintenance or the server is swamped because of the tour announcement. I can't get to the site to check.

Third thing is.....um....well....I'd like to upgrade the software on my phone, but I just can't quite get up the nerve to do so. LOL I read on the forums about how easy it is, etc, etc, etc, then the next post is "OMG I frakked my phone completely! What do I do now?" So, you can see my dilemna.....or maybe you can't.

Back to the mail...there's only about 500 waiting for me on one account, hard telling how many elsewhere.

Ain't he cute? :D